Suicidal Tendencies

  Sometimes the only answer to Life's problems is death. Between my declining health and rapidly mounting debt, I'm getting close to reaching that point. I'm tired of working and having nothing to show for it. What's the point in busting my ass only to fall further and further behind? In death, my problems would still exist but I'd no longer give a shit. The one loan I took out has a clause in it that considers it paid off should I die so it would cease to exist the moment I cease to exist. That's over $6,000.00 of debt erased in an instant. Now I fully realize that committing suicide has repercussions. My family and friends would be grief stricken by my decision. They would, however, eventually get over it. And if they didn't, I'd still be dead and thus in no position to care. You see I don't believe in an afterlife. There's no soul that separates from my body to head off to some mythical place of eternal bliss or torment. That's religious bullshit designed to force you to conform to their belief system. The only existence you have after death is the memories of those still living. When those are gone, so are you.

  Do I want to commit suicide? Not at the moment. Whether that changes of not depends on a lot of things. But I have to admit that there are times when my life seems utterly pointless and devoid of meaning. I feel the only reason I'm here is so Fate has someone to shit on. Now I fully realize that there are people whose lives are far, far worse than mine. There's not much I can do about it but I am aware of it. That doesn't change things. If my life continues to spiral down the proverbial toilet, suicide might be my response.

The NHGHs of Life Part 4: Addendum

  After calling both Aurora and the insurance people, the picture isn't looking very good. Aurora is going to send Anthem an itemized list for the procedures done at the end of last year but they informed me that I may have reached my benefit limit for the period. If that's the case, I'll be stuck with the entire bill. To top things off, Aurora informed me that one other bill wasn't paid because I was apparently not covered at the time. I had to cancel my dentist appointment. They expect the entire bill to be paid in full either immediately before or after the procedure. That's $600.00 I simply don't have. It seems very likely right now that I'll have to cancel my plans to go to Gen Con this year. With all the debt I'm buried in, it'll take years for me to dig myself out.

Results Not Typical

  Have you ever noticed the fine print in some TV ads? Weight loss ads are prone to fine print. They show you a bunch of people that lost all kinds of weight on their drug/diet plan while the fine print states that their results aren't typical. Why won't they tell us how much weight the average person will lose using their drug/diet plan? Could it be that the average results aren't all that impressive?

  Then there's the bidding sites like DealDash.com. They talk about how you can get up to 90% savings on items like smartphones, tablets and the like. But the fine print makes it clear that these results aren't typical and that the final price doesn't include the cost of the bids placed. And while the fine print informs you of how many bids a particular bidder made on a given item, it doesn't tell you how much each bid costs. Why? What are they hiding? These weight loss and bidding sites should inform people about what results the average person can expect because that's the results most people are going to get. And the bidding sites should make it clear up front how much each bid costs. I don't like the thought of paying for bids. On eBay, if you lose an auction, you pay nothing. Only the buyer and seller pay anything. On these other sites, if you lose, you're out the cost of the bids you made. 

The NHGHs of Life Part 4: The Financial Report

  I can't seem to get ahead. I spent about 4 years getting rid of my MasterCard and Discover debt. Four years. And when I finally pull this off, my health takes a turn for the worse and I'm right back in debt. I didn't get any time to build up my savings and checking account. None. To make matters worse, Aurora has billed me $12,889.80 for the time I spent in the hospital when my creatinine level went up to 6.91. So far, my insurance hasn't covered any of it. I contacted them and they said that they needed an itemized list of everything done so they can work matters out. They asked Aurora for the list on Jan. 19th but never heard back from them. I called Aurora and asked them to send the list. I'm hoping this works out. If I get stuck with the entire $12,880.89, I'm well and truly fucked. I'll be spending another shitload of years digging myself out. Hell, I may never get out from under this.

Atheist Hate Crime?

  As some of you may know, Craig Hicks has been accused of killing three Muslim students in North Carolina. Some reports say that the killings were over a parking space dispute. Other reports say that Craig, a self professed "gun toting" atheist, murdered the three Muslims because of a deep seated hatred of religion. Whatever the reason, what Craig Hicks did was wrong and if he's convicted, he must pay the penalty. What worries me is that he might actually have committed a hate crime. We atheists must stay out of the hate crime business. Let the religionists slaughter each other over differing religious beliefs. It only demonstrates to the world how truly fucked up they are. Atheists have to remain above this level of genocidal idiocy. Craig Hicks is hurting the atheist cause.

The NHGHs of Life Pt. 3 - The Health Edition

  My health has been pretty crappy lately. I spent the last four days of 2014 in the hospital due to my creatinine level jumping up to 6.91. Normal range is 1.0 to 1.3. It seems the trial drug (which was most likely Celebrex) and the metformin I was taking were the cause. A blood clot in my right calf was also found at this time. On a more recent note, I just got back from the hospital again. This time my INR was through the roof. Since the discovery of the blood clot, I've been taking Coumadin a.k.a. warfarin. It's an anticoagulant. I was also taking a faster acting anticoagulant, Lovenox, for a short time until the Coumadin in my system reached the therapeutic level of between 2 and 3. The amount of Coumadin I was taking was periodically adjusted in order to achieve this level. Right before I had to head back to the hospital, I was taking 12.5mg on Tuesdays and Thursdays and 10mg the other days of the week. This past Wednesday, I wasn't feeling well. The right side of my jaw ached and I was told I looked rather pale. Every time I blew my nose, the mucus was bloody. That night, I couldn't sleep. I had chills and my jaw still hurt.
  The next day wasn't any better. My appetite was gone which turned out to be a good thing because my stomach became upset. I went to the emergency room and checked myself in. Over the course of the next few days, an infection was discovered in my jaw and my INR was found to be a stratospherically high 10.1. If I had cut myself during this time, I would have bled rather profusely. If I had suffered a more serious injury, I could easily have bled out. So more time in the hospital. More work days missed. More medical bills. This shit's happening far too frequently. I'm a pessimistic, cynical son of a bitch when things are relatively normal. This isn't improving my mood. I find myself waiting for the next crisis. It seems whenever things start looking up, NHGH comes along and bitch slaps the taste out of my mouth.

Fox News: Peddlers of Misinformation

  A recent study reported on by the Daily Kos, makes it clear what I've known for quite some time. Watching Fox News makes you stupid. What else did you expect from lying, fascist, propaganda monkeys? These misogynistic, homophobic, racist, sexist, hemorroids on the ass of society are only interested in spreading right wing lies and disinformation. They want their viewers to be ignorant and fearful because it makes them easier to manipulate. These fuckers needs to be culled from the rest of us and killed. 'Nuff said!