Reality TV

What the fuck is it with TV and all these "reality" shows these days? Do the networks think we're morons? Most of these shows aren't reality at all, they're just crap. Take, for example, the Bachelor and the Bachelorette. We're talking grade A prime shit here. All this pseudo drama and heartbreak is bullshit. These narcissists aren't interested in finding true love, they just want their faces plastered all over the TV screen. Give them a little fame now and they'll try to milk it for all they can get. If I were Emperor of the World, I'd have these assholes killed. The gene pool would be better off without them. Then we have the rich fuck shows like Real Housewives of Atlanta and Keeping Up With the Kardashians. Why should we care about a bunch of uppity rich cunts? Anyone watching these shows is being played for a fool. They're getting richer because of you. Ignore them and let them crawl back under whatever gem encrusted rock they crawled out of in the first place. Then we have the shows about repo men. Why? After you see one episode, you've pretty much seen them all. They go around repossessing cars and getting screamed at and threatened by the people as they take them. Everything else is manufactured for the cameras. All in all it's a colossal waste of the viewer's time. Don't get me wrong, there is some genuine reality TV out there. Cops is a prime example. Here we have real cops, real crime and real criminals. No bullshit. The shows detailing life in prison are also good reality shows because nothing's manufactured for ratings. The networks should keep the good shows and scrap the crap.

The NHGHs in one's life

You're probably wondering what I'm referring to when I talk about the NHGHs of life. In SubGenius lore, NHGH a.k.a. He who named himself, embodies the unspeakable Dark Side of "Bob" which dwells within his dots. He is the ultimate lingering houseguest that will never leave. NHGH doesn't kill you or ruin your life. He ruins an hour or a decade at most. Needless to say, NHGH, like every other god, demon, angel or whatnot, was created by man. When I talk about the NHGHs of life, I'm talking about those things that fuck it up periodically. Things like that annoying cocksucker of a coworker that goes out of the way to make your shift miserable. The car battery that conveniently fails right before New Year's Eve ruining your plans to get together with friends. The computer that mysteriously won't turn on anymore. These, and many other things, are the NHGHs of life. And there's nothing you can do to completely get rid of them. Why? Because more always crop up. Get rid of one NHGH and others will take its place. It's a no win scenario. All you can do is hope that the Slack plane will realign in a positive permutation for you every once in a while. Hope that the smiling face of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs banishes the Grin of NHGH at least temporarily. And if you're wondering what NHGH looks like, check out the Mask of NHGH post elsewhere in this blog. This is the Right Reverend Mike, Head Slackmaster of the Fellowship of The Eternal Dobbs Pipe signing off.

NRA: Delusional Paranoids

The NRA's response to the Newtown massacre was typical NRA. Their adamant refusal to accept ANY form of firearms regulation is indicative of a raging paranoia gripping the upper echelons of this organization. They're absolutely certain that our government is going to become tyrannical and they're the only thing standing in the way of that tyranny. Let this old SubGenius preacher man paint a hypothetical scenario for our more paranoid NRA members. If the government decides to go fascist, your firearms won't amount to shit. Why? Because not only does the government have a sizable collection of firearms and ammo, they've got tanks, combat jets, LAWs rockets, surface to air missiles, air to surface missiles, etc., etc. You're collective asses will simply get blown off the map. And your ad about Pres. Obama's children having Secret Service guards was ludicrous. The President is one of the most important people in the world. He has access to highly sensitive, top secret information. Of course his family going to be heavily guarded. Your argument is fucking asinine. Then there's the statement the NRA made stating "The answer to a bad man with a gun is a good man with a gun." Got any evidence to support your statement? So far I haven't heard shit. You'd think they'd be parading out these examples if they had them. It would surely support their argument. So where are they? Now I'm not railing against the entire NRA membership, only those with paranoid delusions. The ones that jack off while reading Guns & Ammo magazine and have Dirty Harry fantasies. Get out of your post apocalyptic bunkers and smell the reality. Firearms were designed to kill period. Not everyone should be allowed to have firearms and those that can possess them should receive proper training. Military style firearms should be left to the military.