Sometimes the only answer to Life's problems is death. Between my declining health and rapidly mounting debt, I'm getting close to reaching that point. I'm tired of working and having nothing to show for it. What's the point in busting my ass only to fall further and further behind? In death, my problems would still exist but I'd no longer give a shit. The one loan I took out has a clause in it that considers it paid off should I die so it would cease to exist the moment I cease to exist. That's over $6,000.00 of debt erased in an instant. Now I fully realize that committing suicide has repercussions. My family and friends would be grief stricken by my decision. They would, however, eventually get over it. And if they didn't, I'd still be dead and thus in no position to care. You see I don't believe in an afterlife. There's no soul that separates from my body to head off to some mythical place of eternal bliss or torment. That's religious bullshit designed to force you to conform to their belief system. The only existence you have after death is the memories of those still living. When those are gone, so are you.
Do I want to commit suicide? Not at the moment. Whether that changes of not depends on a lot of things. But I have to admit that there are times when my life seems utterly pointless and devoid of meaning. I feel the only reason I'm here is so Fate has someone to shit on. Now I fully realize that there are people whose lives are far, far worse than mine. There's not much I can do about it but I am aware of it. That doesn't change things. If my life continues to spiral down the proverbial toilet, suicide might be my response.
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