Background Noise

  I feel like my life is little more than background noise in the grand scheme of things. It never gets noticed because of how mediocre it is and I am. It seems the only time I do get noticed is when I royally fuck up in some fashion. I always feel like the odd man out. Like I don't belong anywhere. For example, take the gaming group that I've gaming with for over a decade. Despite the fact that I've been with these people that long, I still can't shake the feeling that I'm not truly part of the group. It's the same way at work. It's this feeling that kept me from dating. I know, deep down inside, that any attempts I make at finding someone will only end in failure. Some years back I hooked up with a local BDSM group I found on AOL. I attended a few meetings but I could never get comfortable with them. I tried to stick it out going so far as to attend a BDSM gathering at a hotel in northern Illinois. I went into the bar area where everyone was hanging out and did... nothing. I didn't speak or try to get to know anyone there. My anxiety got to the point where I just left. As I was driving home, I realized that I'd forgotten my coat and actually considered just leaving it there and taking the loss.
  The reality is I'll never be physically, mentally, emotionally or financially ready for a relationship. For the women of the world, that's really great news. One less sub par idiot making a play for their affections. One less mediocre dipshit ruining their social lives. My erectile dysfunction seems to have gotten worse not that it matters. I'm not sure whether that's due to diabetic complications or a fucked up mental state. Probably both. I've been trying to get my a1c down to 7 or below with mixed results. While I've had some good days, I'm still screwing things up enough to potentially cause problems. I need to get my a1c down so I can get hip replacement surgery done to correct the avascular necrosis.

Pseudo Religions? Part 2 and Other News

  I've discovered that there's a First United Church of Cthulhu and you can download their Certificate of Ordination here. Needless to say, I want to get ordained. I've downloaded the certificate. Now I just have to get it filled out and printed.
  I'm still waiting for some of my Kickstarter rewards to arrive. The Judge Dredd rewards are being mailed out now. Randice production started around March 6th so hopefully they'll be mailing out those soon. The Tower of Holding rewards fulfillment has run into some problems but those problems  are being sorted out. The blanks for the Bonus Tracking Dice arrived March 9th and final tests and production set to begin next week. The Dice Coins survey has been filled out and returned. I found out that as an early backer, I was entitled to two more Dice Coins so I'm getting 12 Dice Coins in all plus 3 pouches.
  The money for the Immersive Battle Maps should be transferred to Kickstarter soon. I don't know when the surveys will be sent out. The Debunked card game, Cthulhu Coins and the One Fuck/Zero Fucks Decision Maker Coin Kickstarters still have either 8 or 11 days to go. The Cultist coin has been unlocked and I've upped my pledge in order to get it. I'm also getting two free pouches with the coins. If the total reaches $45,000 or more, the Elder Sign pin gets unlocked.

Hamberders & Covfefe

   The man responsible for coining the words hamberders and covfefe has given his State of the Union address. This after he shut down the government for 35 days because he didn't get $5.7 billion for his useless border wall. I don't get this brainless twit. He's been told that there are better ways to secure the southern border, but instead for listening to his advisers, he lets xenophobic right wing cunt Ann Coulter dictate immigration policy to him. What a fucking dipshit.
  This man is delusional. Trump thinks he knows more and has better intelligence than the FBI, CIA and NSA combined and refuses to listen to them regarding threats to America. And on the subject of intelligence and security clearances, Jared Kushner had more than 100 errors or omissions on his SF86 security clearance form. Why this motherfucker has any security clearance at all is beyond me. You can bet that there are foreign governments looking to exploit this dipshit.
  Trump has declared a national emergency in order to secure funds for his border wall. House Democrats have introduced a resolution in order to block Trump's stupid maneuver but Trump has vowed to veto the resolution should it pass. Here's a video of declaring just that while basically lying his fat ass off.

  This dipshit is nothing more than an orange haired wannabe dictator. He recently referred to the press as 'The enemy of the people.' Truth is, the only enemy of the people is him.

The Mundanity Continues

  The polar vortex that plagued the area from Tuesday through Thursday has finally passed. The temperature has gone from -50 degrees to a much more tolerable 45 degrees. Let's hope that the super cold weather is done for the rest of the season.

  The Towers of Holding are being manufactured and the books, GM screens and plug and play tokens for the Judge Dredd RPG have been printed. Hopefully I'll be getting those soon. I've contributed to a Dice Coins Kickstarter in order to get a 10 coin set. Here's a YouTube video showing couple of d20 dice coins someone else ordered.

The set I want will consist of the following dice coins; d3 Cerberus, d4 Wizard, d5 Castle, d6 Cleric, d8 Ranger, d10 Skeleton Dragon, Percentile Phoenix, d12 Barbarian, d20 Lich and a Weather vane coin. As the video shows, each coin has a bump on the bottom that allows you to spin it like a top. You then stop the coin spinning by placing your finger on the edge. The first fully visible number to the left of your finger is the result. The Weather vane coin has words on it describing different weather conditions.
  I filed my taxes yesterday. I'll be getting back about $883.00 which will be split into my Simple and Serve accounts for Gen Con. Speaking of Gen Con, my hotel reservation has been made. I lucked out this year in that my hotel is only two blocks from the convention center. It's funny, the years when I made it a point to have the hotel reservation day off, I'd get a time when I could log into the housing portal that was 5 to 7 hours after reservations went live. This year I didn't request the day off and my log in time was 12:27 pm. It should be noted that the housing portal goes live at 11:00 am CST. I set up my hotel reservation while I was on lunch at work.
  I've been trying to lower my a1c but I'm not sure I'm making any headway. I have a fasting blood draw coming up on Thursday. I'm not sure if my a1c is one of the things they'll be determining at that time. I've got to stop the late night eating. It's not helping matters.

The Mundanity that is My Life

  My life, for the most part, as been dull normal with the emphasis on dull. On the plus side, dull normality means that nothing massively bad has happened. On the negative side, nothing really great has happened either.

  The avascular necrosis of my hips is bilateral and worse on the right. The orthopedic surgeon says that I'm going to need hip replacement surgery. The problem is my a1c is too high. I need to get it down from 8.5 to 7.0.

  I've backed several Kickstarter projects; the Tower of Holding, the Judge Dredd RPG, a set of zinc alloy gaming dice and a set of Randice random character creator dice. All the projects are fully funded and the first three have received their money and have started production. The Randice project still has 7 days to go. I'm hoping that they make their $13,641 goal so they'll throw in two extra dice. If nothing else, I hope the make their $7,105 goal so the dice will be engraved.

Yet Another Mass Shooting

  Ian David Long: 13 dead, 10 to 12 injured.

  More people dead. More bullshit from the GOP and the NRA. What more is there to say? Nothing changes. Nothing's ever going to change. The death toll will just keep rising.

The Body Count Rises and Pipe Bomb Mailing Trump Fan

  Robert Bowers: 11 dead, 6 injured.
  Gregory Alan Bush: 2 dead.
  More people dead and just like the Las Vegas massacre, nothing will be done. The NRA and the Fox Propaganda Network will do everything in their power to make these shootings go away. I'm getting real tired of these motherfuckers.
  On a different note, Cesar Sayoc, a rabid Trump supporter, has been accused of sending pipe bombs to prominent Democrats, liberals and the news media. The targets have been those regarded by Trump as his enemies. Trump's response and the response of other right wing shit mongers has been par for the course. With the exception of Vice President Pence, no one on the right has expressed concern for those targeted by the bombs. They're claiming the bombs are false flag attacks designed to swing the midterm elections in the Democrats favor. While Trump has done a generalized, perfunctory condemnation of the attacks, his tweets reveal his real thoughts. He's in favor of the violence so long as it serves his purpose and targets his enemies. We have to remember that this prick praised a congressman for assaulting a reporter as well as encouraging violence against protesters both while running for president and after he was elected. The only way Trump would denounce violence and mean it is if it were targeting him or his family. Even then he'd find some way to blame the Democrats for it. Trump and the right wing media call for unity while simultaneously riling up their bases with hate filled rhetoric then they wonder why the country is so divided. The Alt-Right is full of shit mongering fucktards and the GOP has nothing more than power mad maggots running it. The only voice of reason the GOP had among them, Sen. John McCain, has sadly passed away.