Ding Dong...

  My dick is dead. Well, not completely dead, more like 80% dead. Truthfully, I shouldn't be all that concerned. So what if I can't get it up anymore. It's not like I'm really losing anything, right? My sex life has gone from asymptotically approaching zero to zero. Having erectile dysfunction is just Nature's way of saying "You're going to remain a virgin for the rest of your miserable life, you repugnant little nobody." The problem is the desire is still there. I still want to have sex. I still want to indulge in bondage. But since women have unilaterally decided that they want nothing to do with me sexually, neither of those things are likely to happen. I wish I could kill off my sexual desires. Just end them completely. Then I could slouch my way to death like the eunuch I was apparently always meant to be.