Random Bits

  After spending about $1,200.00 on medical bills, I decided to indulge myself a little. First up, on 4/15/16, I placed an order with The Cabil for the latest editions of Hol and Buttery Wholesomeness. I'm still waiting for them to arrive and my email inquiries regarding the status of my order have gone unanswered. If something doesn't happen soon, I'm going to inform PayPal about this order and see if they can get a response. Second up, I've ordered a ballhood on eBay. Since it's a custom order, it will take a while to get here but it will be worth the wait. Now I realize that this wasn't the smartest move. Why order something like this when I have no sex life? It seems pointless and wasteful. Still I want to see what it's like to wear one and I had some extra money.

  A second CT scan has revealed that the lymph node has gotten bigger. This is both good and bad news. It's bad because it means whatever caused it to enlarge is still present. It's good because the doctor feels that they can retry the ultrasound technique that failed last time they tried to biopsy it. I'll be undergoing said procedure on 5/31/16. My biggest fear is that the biopsy will reveal that I have another form of cancer and I'll have to undergo more chemotherapy.
  Plans for this year's GenCon are progressing. The hotel room has been reserved and event tickets purchased. Despite my planning, things didn't work out as I'd hoped they would. I had to wait almost 4 hours before I could make my hotel reservation. As a result, I'm several miles outside the convention area and I'll have to drive to it everyday and pay for parking. It's either that or find a bus or shuttle service to and from the area. When it came time to register for events, I logged onto my account before registration went live, picked 7 events that I wanted to play and put them on my wish list. The second registration went live, I submitted my wish list for processing. The problem was I ended up 5,744th in line for processing. 5 of the 7 events filled up before my list was processed. I couldn't add any replacement events until my list was processed and then I had to get back in line. When all was said and done, I ended up with 4 events, Wraith, Doctor Who, The One Ring and Luchador. I've been paying on my credit card bill and I want to eventually shift some money to my Serve and Simple card accounts so I'll have some spending money for the convention.

Terminal Virginitis

  I'm going to be a virgin my whole fucking life. Not by choice, mind you, but because women find me utterly, wholly and completely repellent. I'm not at the bottom of sexual desirability totem pole, I'm several miles beneath it. I'd have to put in considerable effort if I want to move up to the lofty score of zero. It makes me wish that I could excise all the sexual thoughts, urges and fetishes from my brain. All they do is remind me of things I'll never have or experience like an intimate relationship, kinky sex or even vanilla sex for that matter. Not that I deserve any of that being the worthless piece of shit that I am. I'd be better off as a sexless, lobotomized freak. Odds are I'd be happier or at least so brain dead I'd no longer care. Hell, I'm already part way there because like about half the men my age, I suffer from some degree of erectile dysfunction. My cock just isn't what it used to be. But since I'm never going to have sexual relations with a woman, it hardly fucking matters. It could shrivel up and fall off and my sex life would go from virtually nonexistent to simply nonexistent.

The Kind of Woman I Want

These photos I found on the web depict the kind of woman I want to have a relationship with.

Islam and Porn

"Data collected by Alexa, a subsidiary of Amazon.com that tracks Web traffic around the world, revealed that pornographic sites were among the most visited Internet destinations in Egypt, Tunisia and Lebanon. Five porn sites in Egypt and Lebanon, and seven in Tunisia, broke the list of the top 100 most visited sites in each country, according to Al Arabiya. Two pornographic sites ranked in the top 25 most visited in Egypt. Pornography is forbidden in much of the Islamic world, and Egypt banned online porn last week. Yet some critics said that people will find ways to get their porn fix regardless of government prohibitions." The above quote is from the Huffington Post web site. Don't you just love religious hypocrisy? It seems that when it comes to porn, many followers of Islam are like the followers of Christ. They rant and rave about how porn is evil and that only the morally lax would ever indulge in it then they go home and spend all kinds of time viewing it. Jimmy Swaggart got caught not once, but twice, with porno mags in his possession. Osama bin Laden had porn in his compound. I have nothing against most porn. The only types of porn that should be banned are child porn, necrophilia related porn and bestiality related porn. That stuff is just fucking sick. Most of the rest of it falls into one of two categories, stuff I really like and stuff I don't really get but consider harmless. Despite our delusions of grandeur, we're just animals and like the other animals we have sexual urges. However, being intellectually sophisticated animals, our sexual urges get linked to a wide variety of fetishes and the like. We try to distance ourselves from the other animals but we're not much better than they are and in many ways we're far, far worse. Religionists are especially guilty of delusions of grandeur. They think that they're better than everyone else because they follow such and such religion, but the reality is most are simply hypocrites. Look hard enough and you'll find they're not so squeaky clean.