Chronically Fucking Stupid People

  There are far too many people that suffer from chronic fucking stupidity. These people persist in believing utter nonsense despite overwhelming scientific data. The two major groups afflicted with C.F.S. are climate change deniers and the whack jobs that refuse to get their kids vaccinated. These fucking moronic dwellers in the shallow end of the gene pool let no amount of legitimate scientific evidence get in the way of them googling misinformation from the internet and then acting like they know everything on the subject in question. I'm here to tell you that you're not experts on these subjects. Please step away from your computers and leave the gathering of scientific data to people that actually understand the science in question. You clearly are far too stupid to understand what you're doing. Stop. Now. I implore you. You've done far too much damage to us as a species. Anyone suffering from these high levels of chronic, willful ignorance and stupidity need to be culled away from the rest of us and killed lest the rest of us get infected with their mental disorder. It's the only way that we as a species can continue to evolve.

Asocial Personality Disorder

  I've never been a very sociable person. I tend to keep to myself most of the time. People tend to get somewhat weirded out on those rare occasions when I get talkative. I don't associate much with my fellow coworkers. I don't like being at social gatherings where I don't know anyone because I have a hard time talking to people I don't know. Being a random person at a rock concert is fine because everyone's attention is focused on the stage. This lack of sociability is the main reason I make no attempts at dating. Dating involves putting yourself out there and essentially advertising yourself. This works fine if you have something worth advertising. I have nothing worth advertising. I'm not a happy person by nature. I pride myself on being a cynical fuck that sees humans as the often vicious animals we are. I keep a lot of hate and anger inside me. This hate and anger gets evenly split. Half of it I turn on myself. The other half gets spewed at whatever's pissing me off at the moment. I regard this as a fair split since I'm responsible for most of the shit that fucks with my life here on this miserable little turd ball of a planet. This anger and hate is always just below the surface. It seeps out in small ways whenever I feel like people or events are deliberately fucking with me. My body language and attitude convey a subtle 'I have no desire to suffer your presence. Please fuck off and die.' message that drives people away. When you're like this most of the time, people avoid talking to you. Despite my desire to find some female companionship, I genuinely feel that it's best that I remain alone. With the exception of the times I've spent with my few close friends, being alone is usually when I'm happiest. I'm just not good around people.

Another P.T.T. Moment Revised

  While being a complete and utter nobody that no woman would ever want to fuck has its disadvantages, there are some positive aspects to it.
  1. I have virtually no chance of contracting an STD. Hell, the only way I could get AIDS is from contaminated blood.
  2. I'll never have to deal with alimony, palimony or prenups.
  3. No unwanted pregnancies.
  4. Any genetic defects present in my DNA die with me.
  5. I'm not contributing to the overpopulation of the world.
  6. I'll never have to worry about being stalked by a crazy ex-lover.
  7. No marriage means no divorce.
  8. I get to fuck both Valentine's Day and Sweetest Day in the ass with a razor wire dildo.
  9. If I suffer from erectile dysfunction at some point in the future, it won't be that big a deal. I have yet to have sex with a woman. It's unlikely that I ever will have sex with a woman. Where's the loss? I'd go from having virtually no sex life to having no sex life. Things would hardly change.
  10. I'll never have to worry about my ability to please a woman sexually because no woman will ever want to have sex with me. Think of all the stress I'll be avoiding as a result.
  11. I'll also be saving money because I'll never have to go through any dating or courting rituals trying to win over a woman that finds me repugnant. They don't want to deal with me. I stay away from them. It's a win-win all around.
  12. I'll never have to deal with the scrutiny of  any woman's friends or relatives regarding my status as a potential mate. More stress relief.
  13. Since I've never had sex, I don't know what it's like. And you can't really miss something you've never had. As the saying goes, "Ignorance is bliss.". If that's the case, then as far as sex goes, I'm one blissed out motherfucker.
  14. I never have to deal with a jealous mate. I can look at all the women I want and collect fetish photos and DVDs with impunity.
  15. I never have to worry about my girlfriend cheating on me because, let's face it, no woman is ever going to want that position. I'm going to be alone my whole fucking life.
  16. According to a recent newspaper article, it costs about $280,000.00 to raise a child today. Since the likelihood of me ever becoming a father is pretty much nonexistent, I'll never have to bear this cost. That means more money for me. If I play my cards right maybe I can use said saving to pay for a trip to Australia. I've always wanted to go there.
  17. Treating erectile disfunction costs money. But since the odds of my having sex is zero, I don't need to spend the money. More savings for me.
  I'm sure there are other positive aspects to being a worthless, miserable nonentity like me. If I think of any more, I'll edit them into this blog post. This has been another Polishing the Turd moment brought to you by the Fellowship of The Eternal Dobbs Pipe. May the Luck Plane align in your favor.

One Hate-Mongering Bigot Down...

  The rest of the Westboro Baptists to go. The poster boy for hate-mongering religious bigotry, Fred Phelps, is dead. With the passing of this hemorrhoid in his fictional God's ass crack, the quality of life on this planet has increased immensely. Now if the rest of his inbred clan of shit spewing suckers of syphilitic goat cum would do everyone a favor and commit mass suicide, cultural diversity and tolerance could really make some great strides. 'Nuff said!

Who's Reading this Blog?

  At this point in time, I've had 4,492 pageviews of my blog. However, since I started writing this blog, not one person has left a comment here or become a follower. I find it a bit unusual that no one out there has an opinion on any of the things I've ranted about. I'd have thought by now that at least one person would have spoken up even if it was just to tell me to go fuck myself. I don't know if the lack of comments is a good thing or a bad thing. I would like some idea as to the type of people that are reading my blog posts. Who are you? Drop me a line and let me know. I don't expect everyone to agree with my views and I know I must have pissed off a few people by now. A little feedback wouldn't hurt. Once again, this is the Right Rev. Mike, founder and sole member of the Fellowship of The Eternal Dobbs Pipe signing off.

The Soulmate Myth

  Some people believe that everyone in the world has a soulmate. That special someone that's ideally suited to them and is their perfect mate. This is complete and utter fucking bullshit. This is a myth perpetuated by dating sights and services in order to get your money. Don't get me wrong, some people do find that special someone and have truly happy and fulfilled lives with them. But to believe that EVERYONE has a soulmate is mind numbingly naive. The only guarantee in life is that you'll eventually die. Most people never find that special someone. They end up simply finding someone that they can tolerate and that will tolerate them and go on to have a fairly mediocre existence. Others, like me, just give up altogether and stop searching. What's the point? What is the motherfucking point? Why should I engage in a completely pointless and futile act that will only end in failure? If there was a point in my life when I was at my peak, it's long since past. Even at this so called peak I wasn't much. Now that I'm in the inexorable slide towards death, it doesn't make much sense to waste my remaining time here hoping to find some woman interested in spending time with me. If I'm pretty much going to be alone for the rest of my life, then so be it. Like I said before, I've done plenty of things alone.

More Shit Spewing from Conservatives: Updated

  During the Super Bowl, Coca Cola aired a commercial of people singing America the Beautiful with some of the lyrics being sung in foreign languages. Naturally, this upset some dumbass, racist, homophobic jerk off motherfucking conservatives like Rush Limbaugh. How dare Coca Cola preach unity and tolerance! That goes against everything these conservative dick breaths stand for. They forget the fact that America is a nation composed almost entirely of immigrants. One of the sayings of this country is "E Pluribus Unum" (Out of many, one.). This article sums up some of the reasons why these assholes have their collective bowels in an uproar. After you've read that article, check out this brilliant response by anchorwoman Brenda Wood.