The Only Guarantee in Life

  Life doesn't guarantee you health. It doesn't guarantee you wealth. It doesn't guarantee you happiness or sadness. Life guarantees one thing and one thing only, death. That's it. Deal with it.

Apple vs. the FBI

  There has been an ongoing court battle between Apple and the FBI regarding San Bernadino shooter, Syed Rizwan Farook's iPhone. The FBI wants access to the iPhone's contents but can't get it due to the encryption software embedded in the iOS. Ten wrong password entries and the contents of the phone will be erased. Thus the FBI has been pressuring Apple to create a workaround or backdoor in order to bypass the iPhone's security features. Apple refuses to do this because they say it would compromise the security of their customers' iPhones and iPads. The FBI has also threatened to compel Apple to hand over its iOS source code and signature so they can create their own security compromised iOS software.
  I agree with Apple on this issue. The government has demonstrated an almost obsessive desire to collect information and they hate any form of encryption they can't crack like PGP (Pretty Good Privacy). A recent Journal Times article cites examples of how the government, when granted extended powers, can quickly use those powers to trample upon our basic rights. The government wants the inch so they can eventually take the mile.

News Bits

  The right radical orchiectomy went well. The incisions are healing and there has been little in the way of pain. I have to set up an appointment with Dr. Matkov so he can tell me what was wrong with my right testicle. Update: My oncologist, Dr. Jefferies, gave me the orchiectomy results this past Tuesday. It's official, I had stage 1 seminoma (testicular cancer). Since it was confined to my right testicle, it's pretty much gone. My tumor markers are going to have to monitored every three months to make sure there's no recurrence. This fucking sucks. I undergo a colectomy and chemotherapy in order to rid myself of colon cancer only to end up with seminoma. Then I undergo an orchiectomy to get rid of the seminoma. The enlarged lymph node has yet to be analyzed. For all I know, a third form of cancer is fucking up some other part of my body.

  My erectile dysfunction appears to have worsened. I no longer get anything even approaching a decent erection anymore. I'm less of a man now than I've ever been. Not that I've ever been much of a man even when my penis worked and I had two functioning testicles. Women ignored me then. They have even more reason to ignore me now.

  My life has been little more than a shining example of mediocrity. I've made little, if any, impact on anything. Nothing I've done has amounted to anything significant. I used to think that I was smart and that said intellect would land me a decent job and lead to a decent life. I couldn't have been more wrong. Despite having health insurance and living with my parents, I'm barely making ends meet. One major financial crisis and I'm screwed. I have virtually no social life. The only time I usually see my friends is when we get together for gaming. And dating is out of the question. No woman wants what I have to offer. While any one particular flaw might not be enough to scare them away, all of them together will easily do the trick. The total, in this case, is far greater than the sum of the parts.

  That being the case, it means that the later years of my life are going to be lonely ones. After Mom and Dad die, I'll probably have to sell the house. Since I'm their executor, I'll be the one settling their estate. Jeff and I are the primary beneficiaries for now. With them gone, it will just be me. 

More Health News

  The Jan.19th biopsy attempt was a failure. There were too many organs and blood vessels in the way for them to use a needle to obtain a sample via my throat. I have a consultation with Dr. Needle, who performed my colectomy, on Feb. 9th to determine the next course of action.
  I had a consultation today with Dr. Matkov, a urologist, regarding the ultrasound of my scrotum. The end result is I'm having a right radical orchiectomy on Feb. 12th. In layman's terms, my right testicle is being removed because it's enlarged, unusually firm and covered with nodules. Once it's gone, I'll hopefully find out how it wound up that way. I don't believe I have testicular cancer but it's in the realm of possibility.
  All this, of course, could lead to more medical bills. I already have another $1,300.00 added from the PET and CT scans. Despite this setback, I still believe that I can put enough money aside for Gen Con.

The PET Scan Results Show

  The results of the PET scan were inconclusive. The only anomaly detected was a solitary lymph node in my chest near the heart. From what my oncologist says, it doesn't look like the return of colon cancer. Colon cancer would have affected more than one lymph node and those nodes would be located in the abdomen not the chest cavity. A biopsy has been scheduled for Jan. 19th. The biopsy results should provide the answer as to what's inflaming the node.

  One other oddity was revealed by the scan. It seems that my right testicle is larger and firmer than my left testicle. I was aware of this particular issue for quite some time but didn't address it because, other than the size difference, nothing unusual was occurring there. An ultrasound has been scheduled  on Jan. 26th in order to determine what's going on down there. I'm not entirely sure what to expect when I get the results.

End of the Year Thoughts

  2015 is almost over. Overall, it was another blah year. The only major highlight was Gen Con. Other than that it's been little more than work, home, work, home, bills and dealing with medical issues. My last colonoscopy produced only a benign polyp that was removed. The CT scan showed an enlarged lymph node deep in my abdominal region. They're going to do a PET scan to try to determine whether it's enlarged due to some minor gastric problem or cancer. Let's hope for the former. My weight's been on the rise again. I weighed 321lbs. at the oncologist's office. I have to get this under control. If I keep this shit up, I'll be over 400lbs. this time next year.
  2016 looks like it's going to be a nothing year like the rest. My whole life's been a series of nothing years. There won't be anything on the relationship front. Why would any woman be interested in a bloated fuckwad like me? I'm going to try to go to Gen Con again. I've marked off the dates for badge, hotel and event registration and put in a request to get the latter two days off. I've been paying down my credit card and shunting money into my Google Wallet and Amex Serve accounts. Hopefully everything will work out.

Christians & Abortion: More Pious Hypocrisy

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