Keeping up Appearances

  I pride myself on being a cynical fucking human being. I enjoy it. I revel in it. It's been my main defense mechanism for dealing with my loneliness and insecurities since high school. It's been the mask I've worn to keep people from knowing too much about me. Lately though, cracks have been appearing in the facade. Scenes in movies have actually brought tears to my eyes. Why the fuck is this happening to me!?! I can't be caught letting my guard down like this. It's bad enough most people regard me as a nothing and a nobody. I'm not about to add emotional little dipshit to that list. Appearances need to be maintained.