Some Updates

  I still don't know if my insurance is going to cover that $12,889.80 hospital bill I incurred at the end of last year. The latest news is that the UFCW Insurance people wanted Aurora to fax over the itemized list of expenses to them. This is after I had to get Aurora to fax the list to Anthem. I gave them the claim number and the fax number. Aurora proceeded to fax the list to the wrong number. I gave them the correct number and hopefully the list was faxed to the UFCW Insurance people. I'm going to call them later today and make sure. I still figure that I'm going to get screwed in this matter despite all the hoops I've had to jump through. If that happens, my plans to go to GenCon this year might have to be cancelled. There's no way I'm going to be able to go if I'm stuck paying this on my own.

  On a different front, I've left both the Bondage Uprising and Sub Shop Yahoo groups. The only reason I joined those groups was because I wanted to see how the other half lived. The other half being people that actually have sex lives and indulge in bondage. The way I see it, no experience equals no opinion regarding anything posted. I also believe that Autumn and Nicole want nothing more to do with me. I've worn out my welcome. Neither one of them has responded to my emails regarding the Bondage Uprising web site. Truth to tell, they haven't responded to anything email or comment wise. Just as well, I never really belonged there. These groups are for people with experience, not a pathetic virgin and wannabe BDSMer that no woman will ever want to fuck like me. If having sex is a rite of passage in this society, and I believe it is, then I'm not even officially a man yet. That being said, I should be barred from any and all adult oriented groups.

Suicidal Tendencies

  Sometimes the only answer to Life's problems is death. Between my declining health and rapidly mounting debt, I'm getting close to reaching that point. I'm tired of working and having nothing to show for it. What's the point in busting my ass only to fall further and further behind? In death, my problems would still exist but I'd no longer give a shit. The one loan I took out has a clause in it that considers it paid off should I die so it would cease to exist the moment I cease to exist. That's over $6,000.00 of debt erased in an instant. Now I fully realize that committing suicide has repercussions. My family and friends would be grief stricken by my decision. They would, however, eventually get over it. And if they didn't, I'd still be dead and thus in no position to care. You see I don't believe in an afterlife. There's no soul that separates from my body to head off to some mythical place of eternal bliss or torment. That's religious bullshit designed to force you to conform to their belief system. The only existence you have after death is the memories of those still living. When those are gone, so are you.

  Do I want to commit suicide? Not at the moment. Whether that changes of not depends on a lot of things. But I have to admit that there are times when my life seems utterly pointless and devoid of meaning. I feel the only reason I'm here is so Fate has someone to shit on. Now I fully realize that there are people whose lives are far, far worse than mine. There's not much I can do about it but I am aware of it. That doesn't change things. If my life continues to spiral down the proverbial toilet, suicide might be my response.

The NHGHs of Life Part 4: Addendum

  After calling both Aurora and the insurance people, the picture isn't looking very good. Aurora is going to send Anthem an itemized list for the procedures done at the end of last year but they informed me that I may have reached my benefit limit for the period. If that's the case, I'll be stuck with the entire bill. To top things off, Aurora informed me that one other bill wasn't paid because I was apparently not covered at the time. I had to cancel my dentist appointment. They expect the entire bill to be paid in full either immediately before or after the procedure. That's $600.00 I simply don't have. It seems very likely right now that I'll have to cancel my plans to go to Gen Con this year. With all the debt I'm buried in, it'll take years for me to dig myself out.

The NHGHs of Life Part 4: The Financial Report

  I can't seem to get ahead. I spent about 4 years getting rid of my MasterCard and Discover debt. Four years. And when I finally pull this off, my health takes a turn for the worse and I'm right back in debt. I didn't get any time to build up my savings and checking account. None. To make matters worse, Aurora has billed me $12,889.80 for the time I spent in the hospital when my creatinine level went up to 6.91. So far, my insurance hasn't covered any of it. I contacted them and they said that they needed an itemized list of everything done so they can work matters out. They asked Aurora for the list on Jan. 19th but never heard back from them. I called Aurora and asked them to send the list. I'm hoping this works out. If I get stuck with the entire $12,880.89, I'm well and truly fucked. I'll be spending another shitload of years digging myself out. Hell, I may never get out from under this.

The Good & The Bad

  It's been a mixed bag in my life lately. On the down side, I was recently found out that I have type 2 diabetes. Not a big surprise given that I'm overweight and drink soda like it's going out of style. It wasn't a question of will I get it but when will I get it. Apparently my diabetes isn't severe enough to require me to take insulin. I've been prescribed the drug metformin to lower my blood sugar levels. I'm going to have to cut down on the soda drinking and possibly modify my diet as well.
  On the plus side, my final payment to Discover card has been posted. The second major source of debt has been eliminated. The GE Money account I have through Pearle Vision is the next to go given that it's fairly low and I have more money to spare. All that will be left then is the Springleaf account. As a reward, I ordered a new zentai for myself. The pattern sort of looks like molten rock. I plan to get a credit card through Educator's Credit Union to replace the defunct cards I paid off. Next year, I will be going back to Gen Con. I haven't been there since 2009.