Pseudo Religions?

  As any regular reader of this blog knows, I'm no fan of religion. I had the great fortune of being raised by parents that weren't very religious and, to the best of my knowledge, never went to church during my lifetime. Thus I was allowed to grow up free of religious indoctrination. As a result of this, I am an atheist. That being said you'll probably find it surprising that I'm an ordained minister of the Universal Life Church. Here's the story behind my ordination. Back in early 1998, I sent in my $30.00 and became a SubGenius minister. The Church of the SubGenius is a parody church created by Rev. Ivan Stang and Overman Philo U. Drummond. In an FAQ file on the site, they said that the SubGenius church wasn't recognized by the government and as a result, ministers ordained by the church couldn't legally perform such priestly duties as weddings. But the ULC believes that no government should stand in the way of a person's religious beliefs. Because of this, they will ordain anyone online, for free, no matter what religious beliefs an individual might have. I've been an ordained ULC minister since Feb. 1st, 1998.

  Some time later, I found out about the Jedi Church. Based on the Star Wars universe, this religion bases its beliefs on the Force and the code of the Jedi. As I recall, it started either in New Zealand or Australia. This church has been seeking official government recognition in several countries. Joining the church is free, but you can order a Certificate of Ordainment from them. I've been an ordained Jedi minister for a few years now.

  And last, but not least, we have Pastafarianism a.k.a. The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. This church was formed in response to the Kansas school board trying to teach creationism in their public schools. Sometime last year, the church began selling ordination certificates and wallets cards on their site. I joined this past December.

  It should also be noted that, according to the Principia Discordia, everyone on Earth is a Discordian Pope. You can get your free Pope card here.

  So why would a dyed in the wool atheist get ordained in three different religions? I mainly did it as a form of protest against the major religions of the world. As far as I'm concerned, these religions are just as valid as they are. Just because Christianity, Islam and Judaism have very large followings doesn't make them any truer than SubGenius, Jediism, Pastafarianism or Discordian beliefs.

The End of the World is nigh: Religious Fuckwads Rejoice!

  According to Michele Bachmann, the End of the World is nigh and all good Christians should rejoice! This poster child for mandatory lobotomies for the terminally stupid thinks that Pres. Obama's policies, gay rights and Iran possibly getting nuclear weapons is a sign that the End Times are coming soon. To make matters worse, there are a lot of people, primarily Tea Partiers, that listen to the vacuous babbling of Our Lady of the Empty Skull and believe every word of it. These insane religious fuckwads actually want all sorts of misery, pain and suffering to be inflicted on mankind because they believe they'll be magically Raptured up to Heaven before the shit hits the fan. What really worries me is that the more demented of these fuckwads might try to actively bring about the events the Bible says proceed the Rapture in order to speed the process. Won't that be loads of fun? I got news for them, if the shit does hit the fan like they want it to, they're going to be very disappointed when they find out they're not going to Heaven. They're going to be stuck here with the rest of us.

Islam: Religion of Peace?

  In Kabul, Afghanistan, a woman named Farkhunda was beaten to death when a peddler in Kabul's Shah-Do Shamshira mosque accused her of burning a Quran when the two of them had an argument because he was selling amulets to childless women. Details as to what the mob did to her are in this Journal Times article. No evidence was ever put forth that she had burned a Quran. She was not arrested, tried and found guilty of burning a Quran. The mob simply beat her to death based on what the peddler said. The police officers present at the time either ignored the situation or took an active part in her death. Muslims say that Islam is a religion of peace. How can they say that when incidences like this occur? This is what I truly hate about religion. A crowd of people went homicidal because they thought someone had burned a copy of their holy book. I don't care what you think about the Quran, it's just a fucking book. Millions of copies of it exist and millions of copies have likely been destroyed in various manners. And the Quran, like every other "holy" book written before or since, was written by man. Not God, man. And because man wrote it, it contains not only man's wisdom but also man's hatred and prejudices as well. We're flawed therefore our "holy" books are flawed as well. We, as a species, have a nasty tendency to elevate things and regard them as being above question or reproach. Religion is one of those things. Some people believe that no one is allowed to criticize, question or insult it. This is complete and utter fucking bullshit. Religion isn't holy. It's merely a bunch of superstitions that WAY too many people believe to be true. We, as a species, need to stop drinking the poisoned Kool Aid of religious belief and start letting reason and logic enlighten us instead.

Religious Freedom Acts

  Gov. Pence stirred up quite a hornet's nest of protest when he signed SB 101, the Religious Freedom Restoration Act into law. Despite what he said, this law was nothing more than a blatant attempt to give right wing Christian bigots the freedom to discriminate against LGBT people on religious grounds without having to worry about being sued. The Christian bigot portion of this country is constantly looking for ways to lord it over the rest of us and they get real whiny when they don't get their way.

  Gov. Pence initially supported the bill and said that its detractors simply didn't understand the bill's intended purpose. It should be noted, however, that Memories Pizza announced that if they were asked to cater to a gay wedding, they would refuse. Follow the link for more information on that. This is exactly what Gov. Pence said wouldn't happen when SB 101 became law.
  The backlash was swift and brutal. The NCAA announced that it would no longer hold any March Madness tournaments there if the law isn't amended or repealed. Angie's List, which is based in Indiana, has held off a planned expansion of their business there because of this bill. Gen Con, one of the largest gaming conventions going, made it clear that they will take their business elsewhere if they feel that some of their attendees will be discriminated against because of this law. Even the Disciples of Christ have made it that they will move their convention because of SB 101. So many businesses and organizations have weighed in on the matter that Gov. Pence had no choice but to add a clarification to the bill stating that businesses could not use it to discriminate against LGBT people. It should be noted that although the bill has been amended, parts of Indiana still allow people to be fired because they're gay so there's still work to be done here.