Gwar

Gwar

A vigintillion years ago

The Master took a shit.

His excrement he gathered nigh.

Our universe he made from it.

When it came time to wipe his ass

He cleansed his hole with war.

 The scumdogs cloned to do the job

Were a mighty band called Gwar.

Plasma cannons at the ready

 The scumdogs stormed ahead.

A juggernaut of mass destruction.

Whole systems wound up dead.

Afraid of their increasing power,

 The Master had them banished.

Sent to far off distant world

Where they all but vanished.

For many countless centuries,

They trod upon the Earth.

And from fucking all the goddamn apes,

To the human race, gave birth.

For this, and many other things,

They were encased in ice.

But from their dark and frozen tomb,

They steeped mankind in vice.

Then glamfags with their aerosol

Played a most important role.

By destroying lots of ozone,

In the sky, they made a hole.

Once thawed out, they chanced to find,

A human in their lair.

It was Sleazy P. Martini

Entrepreneur extraordinaire.

With promises of drugs and sex

He formed a metal band.

And with guitars a thrashing

They stormed out across the land.

To gather all the souls they need

Their fans they have to kill.

And turn the souls to turd bricks

Until, the anal cave they fill.

When the anal cave can hold no more

With a rumble much like thunder,

The World Maggot will come to life

And rip the world asunder.

Riding upon the Maggot’s back

To the heavens, Gwar will fly.

And when they find the Master

His anus they’ll deep fry.